Thursday, August 24, 2006

Is Tom Cruise a naive idiot or what?

I know this is an old issue, but is it just me or is Tom Cruise the most naive person on the planet? Well it's not exclusively him, there's also John Travolta and many other stars that take part in the load of crap otherwise known as Scientology. Here's a brief summary of how the Church of Scientology believes that humans came to live on this earth:

Xenu (sometimes Xemu) is introduced as an alien ruler of the "Galactic Confederacy" who, 75 million years ago, brought billions of people to Earth in DC-8-like spacecraft, stacked them around volcanoes and blew them up with hydrogen bombs. Their souls then clustered together and stuck to the bodies of the living, and they continue to do this today, wreaking havoc in the process. Hubbard called these clustered spirits "Body Thetans," and the advanced levels place considerable emphasis on isolating them and neutralizing their ill effects.
Scientology - Wikipedia
Sounds to me like L. Ron Hubbard, the creator of scientology, was a fan of Star Trek and had a little too much time on his hands. He proceeded to invent the most ridiculous story I've ever heard. I'd sooner believe in Star Wars than believe in this load of crap. What even remotely small clue to we have that this ever happened? Apparently a part of the story was actually taken from an aborted film Script that the founder of Scientology had written called Revolt in the Stars.
Simultaneously, the planted charges erupted. Atomic blasts ballooned from the craters of Loa, Vesuvius, Shasta, Washington, Fujiyama, Etna, and many, many others. Arching higher and higher, up and outwards, towering clouds mushroomed, shot through with flashes of flame, waste and fission. Great winds raced tumultuously across the face of Earth, spreading tales of destruction. Debris-studded, and sickly yellow, the atomic clouds followed close on the heels of the winds. Their bow-shaped fronts encroached inexorably upon forest, city and mankind, they delivered their gifts of death and radiation. A skyscraper, tall and arrow-straight, bent over to form a question mark to the very idea of humanity before crumbling into the screaming city below...
— L. Ron Hubbard, Revolt in the Stars treatment (part of a movie script)
You can tell a religion is accurate when its founder bases it on a movie script he once wrote. I'm sure by now Hubbard is filthy rich, which was probably the idea in the first place: get as many idiots as possible into believing this garbage. Now Tom has pulled Katie into it as well, who, I forgot to mention, should leave him ASAP before he traps her in his web. By the way, that picture is the high tech space plane that Hubbard said brought the billions of people to earth. Looks a bit familiar, no?

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Lindsay Lohan's privates smell like diarrhea

Brandon Davis has lashed out Lindsay Lohan again in a new twist in the long running "firecrotch" feud.

In April, fat boy Brandon Davis went of a tirade of abuse during a night out at a Los Angeles night club, while the 'Mean Girls' star's rival, Paris Hilton, stood by and laughed.

During the rant, Davis went on to accuse Lindsay Lohan of having poor personal hygiene claiming her privates "smell of diarrhea".

He also said: "I think she's worth about seven million dollars, which means she's really poor.

Now , Female First reports the reportedly drunk oil heir jumped on stage at the Miami launch party for
friend Paris Hilton's debut album, grabbed a microphone and addressed the

According to the New York Post newspaper, he ranted: "I wrote a special new
song called 'Firecrotch', and it's for Lindsay Lohan!"

The outburst comes just days after the feud was reignited after Paris, her
producer Scott Storch, sister Nicky and oil heir Brandon were leaving the
In-N-Out burger restaurant and one of the group uttered the infamous phrase.

A photographer heard the word "firecrotch."and asked "What did you say about firecrotch?" Storch replied "We're actually celebrating firecrotch day." As Storch and Paris got in the vehicle which sported bright red interior (Lindsay is famous for her red hair), he added "We even have firecrotch interior for the occasion."

A photographer then asked "Did you get the interior done for firecrotch?" Storch promptly responded "Yes we did, in special honor of her freckled puss." Paris, who smiled during the entire exchange, could not contain her giggles with Storch's parting shot.

This article helps to justify the multi-million dollar salaries these stars hold and their place on the pedestal to which 99% of society looks up. Their maturity and intelligence is cunning, with wisdom far beyong their years. Too bad the rest of us couldn't follow in their footsteps or this world would be a better place.

On the other hand, lindsay's privates probably do smell like diarrhea. If you look real close in the picture you can just barely see the noxious vapours escaping from her crotch.

To help out poor Lindsay I'm going to start a "Get Lindsay some soap" charity. If you want to pitch in, you can post a comment asking me for my paypal account where you can make a donation. I think for the interest of the public, generous donations should be made, I swear all the money will go to getting her that soap.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Paris Hilton is a dumbass

Celebrity PARIS HILTON has launched a campaign to fight the spiralling problem of sexually transmitted diseases, and is urging women to pull back on promiscuity for the sake of their health. The reality TV star has shaken off her raunchy reputation after her 1 NIGHT IN PARIS sex tape with RICK SALOMON was exposed in 2004, and is reinventing herself as a positive female role model. And the socialite, who recently vowed to avoid sex for a year, is encouraging women to do the same and retain their dignity. She says, "It's sexier when a girl is flirty but she doesn't do anything. "I think women should be confident and strong, and they often underestimate themselves and give in to men. "Girls need to calm down and realise that sex isn't everything. It's frightening. Women are getting as bad as boys now for sleeping around."
18/08/2006 12:21

Apparently Paris Hilton is now a spokesperson for an anti-STD campaign and is urging women to abstain from having sex: ironic considering she's probably having sex with multiple people at this moment. Apparently she also made the guiness book of records as "the most overrated celebrity", which nobody can deny.

How is she even a celebrity? She's just some rich spoiled brat without a care in the world that made it to fame by "releasing" her personal sex tape over he internet. And presently she actually calls herself a businesswoman.

If you look real close, you may even notice her lazy eye in the picture above: her left eye is almost god damned closed. Maybe she should get that fixed or something before indirectly calling herself a 10/10 in a certain magazine interview, I can't be bothered to look it up.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

1st post.. to tell you what this blog is about

Celebrities are stupid. Well some are cool, funny or entertaining, but the media gossip proves that most of them are simply dirtbags. So might as well make fun of them.

My first article from LIFE STYLE EXTRA (UK) talks about how Lindsay Lohan was banned from a JT concert. What a dumbass.
LIFE STYLE EXTRA (UK) - Lindsay Lohan has been banned from a Justin Timberlake concert - because he doesn't want her ruining his image

The 'SexyBack' singer's management have reportedly turned down Lohan's request to be put on the VIP guest list for the Los Angeles showcase on Saturday night (19.08.06).

A source told Britain's The Sun newspaper: "Justin's concert will be packed with Hollywood A-listers and a lot of important names in the music business.

"The last thing his label want is Lindsay getting hammered and making a spectacle of herself. His people reckon any association with people like Lindsay are bad forView the profile for Justin Timberlake on Celebrity Spotlight his image and career."

As well as VIP passes, the 20-year-old actress also reportedly requested a private audience with Timberlake - who will be performing tracks from his new album 'FutureSex/LoveSounds'.

Lohan's professional reputation suffered a blow earlier this month when she was issued a letter from film producer James G. Robinson, calling her "irresponsible and unprofessional" after she didn't turn up for work on her new movie 'Georgia Rule'.